The Pet Dilemma

OK...it could be the Pet Problem, but I don't feel exactly alliteratory today.

We had two goldfish, lovely fantails, that actually lived 2-3 years: Our Official Pets. But then, last year, we decided to move to Texas and I figured the fishies wouldn't live through the journey - so I gave them away. By the way, I gave away my houseplants, too, but no one seemed so broken-up about them (minus moi).

Then...we didn't move. Now, the kids are itching for another pet. And we are currently undergoing the family struggle of "what to get" vs. "What will Mom tolerate." It has yet to sink in that I have the final say since I will be that poor creature's only hope for survival.

Here's the breakdown on the pet "stats" so far:

• Dogs - NOPE. We live in a mobile home on a tiny lot, which is really no good for dogs, not fair to 'em. Besides, I am smell-sensitive and don't want one in the house (which is park rules). And the smaller they are, the yippier they are - ugh.
• Cats - NOPE. Majorly allergic. Life-and-death sort of thing. You understand.
• Other Mammals - NOPE. Smell issue again. Number One Son wants a rat (after reading Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH), but the thought of rodents running loose makes me a little creepy. Other thing: noise. Guinea pigs whistle annoyingly and hamsters decide to do aerobics at 3 a.m.
• Birds - NOPE. DH doesn't want them. Besides, you have them on one end of the house, and end up with bird seed all the way on the other. How do they do that?
• Fish - Undecided. We've done it, somehow successfully. Still...it would mean a new tank and equipment and breaking in new fish, which would mean some unfortunate sacrfices in order to establish biological and bacterial "balance" to the fishy world. Do we really want to do that?
• Tarantulas - ABSOLUTELY NOT. DH is pathologically terrified of spiders. It's not some freaky saw-a-scary-movie type of phobia, either. He once bicycled through a swarm of 1000's of 'em on a Uruguayan country road, with bit and pieces of 'em flying up at him. Unless I intend to institutionalize my husband, this is not an option.
• Snakes - NOPE. Nothing against them, I actually think they're cool - within my parameters. But, see, they have a habit of escaping and ending up in the least desirable places, one of which may be under the covers of the foot of my bed on a cold night when I want to put my feet there. I don't share my bed with anyone but my husband. Period.
• Other Reptiles - Up for debate. Things to consider - No feeding living things to living things (in other words, I am not storing crickets, maggots or mealworms purposely in my house), nothing that needs an extravagant (read: expensive) environment. Can't we just enjoy the lizards out in the garden?

If anyone has any other brilliant ideas...let me know. I tried to convince the kids that plants make good pets, but they're not buying it. Also, they won't consider me as a type of pet, either - I guess I should be grateful for that. And no, the standard pet rock doesn't cut the mustard.

Luckily, the jury is still out, pending the return of DH from his business trip. It buys me time and leaves my wallet a little fatter, if only for a moment.